I was waiting in the checkout line at the supermarket. The small old man in front of me was buying a loaf of white bread, two cans of root beer, some lunchmeat, and a tiny serving of potato salad. The cashier rang up his items, the total was somewhere around three bucks.

The guy handed over a crumpled twenty. I watched as the cashier handed back a dollar bill, change, and the receipt. Hmm. I waited. The man looked at the receipt, studied it. He fished his glasses from his pocket and unfolded them, his hand shaking a little. The cashier stared at him. The old man looked flustered, as though not sure what to say, not sure what had happened, why he only had a dollar now.

“He gave you a twenty,” I said to the cashier. Oh, duh, he muttered, opening the drawer and noticing the twenty on top of the pile of fives. “Thought it was a five.” He made the right change.

“Thank you young lady,” said the man. No problem. These days I have been making it my business to observe the world around me in as careful detail as possible.

A couple months ago, Brian and I were riding the 22 Fillmore bus on a trip to catch dinner and a movie. We sat near the back, facing each other. There was a guy across the aisle talking loudly, carrying on, as often happens on lovely Muni buses. The sun was low and kept shining in my eyes. I looked over at the guy and suddenly noticed that he was palming a huge knife, which he kept folding and unfolding. I shot Brian a look, he seemed to understand.

When the guy got off the bus, I said quietly, “That guy had a knife.” “I know,” Brian replied. He saw the knife as soon as the man boarded the bus. He noticed that there was something in his hand, and that he was trying to hide it.

I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of safety being with him, of knowing that I could be safe with him even if a guy with a knife had dared to menace anyone on the bus. That scenario is unlikely, I know, but I have never felt safer with any other boyfriend than Brian. In fact, I like that feeling of security so much, that is why I am learning martial arts as well, so maybe someday I can give him that feeling too.

Today is a quiet Saturday, cool and sunny. I bought black leather loafers, much needed. I went to see a girly matinee movie. And I bought some petite pants that fit me, which is nice.

And now, I am gonna make some cookies. I repotted one of my plants and started some laundry. Happy weekend, peoples.