If you simply must ride around on a motorcycle without a helmet, I will not feel an ounce of sympathy for you when you get your head bashed in. I guess I can hear either argument about the validity of helmet laws, but they are clearly there mainly to keep the stupidest riders alive.

Walked around today thinking about the novel project. I have a few ideas. The most important thing in the story is that something Happens. An event, a turning point, something interesting and compelling. Life is full of these things… why is it so hard to think of them in a way that works in a novel? But if James Kelman can write an entire book from the first-person perspective of a newly-blind, drunk Scotsman, I can churn out 50 thousand words of whatever comes to my fingertips.

Soon my workplace will be a sea overflowing with miniature candy bars. Resistance is futile, I’m afraid. On Halloween we’re having a big office party in the afternoon, complete with costume contests. I am just going to wear my black gi, white belt, tabi, and a large toy samurai sword. Might put my hair in a topknot, but then that would be mixing my historical references.

Not that anyone would notice. When I say I am a ninja, everyone will ask why I am not wearing a mask, and I will repeatedly explain that ninjas did not wear hoods, enough with the fucking hoods already. Only more politely, of course.