The universe is good and wishes me no harm. True story.

V. good session tonight with my (former) therapist. I am at the beginning of betterness.

I knew in a weird way as I was on the very long arduous trek home through the dark smoky night. I sat there on the platform waiting for my train, watching the operator of the K that was pulled into the station. I watched his eyes, curious about another human creature as I used to be all the time. He watched his two rear mirrors as people got on board. Then he looked at me, looking at him. The train started to move away into the tunnel, he still maintained friendly eye contact, and as the train slipped into the darkness, he rang his bell a couple times.

A simple meaningless exchange, right? But that brief hello between strangers, it somehow made me feel alright, and on the way home I listened to some bossa nova on my ipod and looked around at the people on my train as though they were my brothers and sisters.

There is a lifeforce inside us all, too small to see or understand. Too big to see or understand. Both at once. And my depressions and fears, they are conquered by love for humanity, love for my friends, family, partner, even my cats. I refuse to let fear rule my time here. I will have fun and laugh and create and most of all, love the world as much as I can. Instead of fearing it.