Today Brian and I spent the day together walking around the city, occasionally taking buses and trains. One of the primary goals was to go to the hardware store in Japantown and get some bamboo shinai training swords, but the store decided to be closed through tomorrow. Feh.

But, we did have a wonderful day. The sun shone throughout; a nice change. Japantown was swell — I got myself a 40% off calendar (some of the pictures inside). There were some drummers wandering the Japan Center mall, accompanied by a dancing dragon man. It was funny and cool.

After that, we had lunch, walked around Fillmore Street, went shopping downtown for some dressy boy clothes, and finally to dinner and a movie at the hated Metreon. Long day, but didn’t seem that long when spent with the guy I adore (insert cheesy eyerolling).

Anyway I am home now, it’s late, I’m eating some pasta so that I can take my Accutane with food, whee. Less than four weeks left of this stuff, and boy am I glad of that.

I’ve been wondering if one of the reasons I’ve been down lately can be traced to my lack of creativity recently. I mean, I haven’t felt very creative. The only writing I’ve done is here, which I have at least been trying to do every day. But I remember when I used to constantly be drawing, always be writing in a journal or my fanzine or letters to people. I feel like I must now fight to make myself express myself in these ways.

Perhaps I express myself differently now, through my relationships, through things like cooking or online communication. I don’t know. I feel like I used to be an artist. Now I feel lazy.

I promised Brian I would write something tonight, so I will. And now I will promise myself that I will meditate tonight, too. How sad that we must train ourselves to live in the present moment.