I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around how to plan a wedding. Without of course, hiring a wedding planner.
What do we want? Where? How much money do we even have? When? How many people will we invite?
Invitations? Food? Photographer? Flowers? Rings?
All these little details which are important. I am leaving out things I regard as expensive formalities. Like a big white fluffy thousand-dollar dress.
But the whole thing is still too big to think about. But it doesn’t have to be THAT big. But I don’t think we could have a backyard wedding — too many people. And no backyard.
I’ve never even planned a party. Have I? Not really.
So many people are offering to help, and for that I am grateful.
And this whole thing is still over a year away. I’m so excited! It will be a lot more fun when any kind of decisions have been made.
I just want a beautiful, lovely day. It shouldn’t be the least bit stressful when the day finally comes, right? Right.
Get this bridal book!
First, let me congratulate you on your news! Secondly, I recently got married and (4 months ago!) and the best book that I got was called Bridal Bargains, it is excellent. Very helpful especially when you don’t know where to begin. Cheers!
I was just going to post what superfizzy just said, except this:
I actually HAVE the bridal bargains book. I swear it saved my finances. Let me just say the average cost of weddings nationally is $17,000 but it’s $35,000 in the NY/NJ/CT area. I presume it’s similar in CA. Our wedding is looking to come in at $10,000– and I still got my damn thousand-dollar dress 😛 We still have a Saturday wedding in June. We didn’t compromise anything (though I suppose some see having a small wedding of 100 guests as a compromise– personally, I don’t want any more).
To get to my point, I have two books, titled:
1. Bridal Bargains: secrets to throwing a fantastic wedding on a realistic budget. By: Denise & Alan Fields (the one previous poster talked about)
2. Anti-Bride Guide: Tying the knot outside of the box. By: Carolyn Gerin & Stephanie Rosenbaum
I’ll mail them to you (if you want!) for free. All I ask is shipping costs. Let me know by email clare_ng@email.com.
Ginger, I don’t know what the logistics of this would be, and I know you were admiring that J. Crew dress and all, so it may be moot. However, I live walking distance (and may soon be moving even closer to) the world-famous Kleinfeld’s bridal store in Brooklyn.
If you actually decided to go with the traditional wedding gown, and knew the designer and style name and size, I could be your go-between in the ordering and stuff.
Kleinfeld’s is the best.
To second this post, I just want to say that you don’t have to spend a thousand dollars to get a thousand-dollar dress (and it doesn’t have to be poofy). There are numerous charity auctions such as Making Memories (http://www.makingmemories.org/babc.html) where you can both buy a gown from $49 to $599, and also donate your wedding gown if you so choose.
DIY party planning
Stuff that I have learned from non-profit fundraising:
1. For food, serve stuff that is inherently cheap (pasta, frittatas, roasted potatoes, etc) and/or in season.
2. Do at least one part of the food (appetizers, desserts, salads, non-alc drinks,etc.) pot-luck style. Your relatives/friends will love to bake or create stuff for you, it will cost them, individually, next to nothing and it will save you a lot. Also a great way to get people involved. Don’t be afraid to assign people specific shit that you want, it will be easier for them.
3. Booze stuff:
If you’re gonna provide booze, pick like 2 mixers that you and Brian like, and pre-make big batches of them. Big coolers, like you use for camping, are great for this. You can sterlize them with dilluted bleach. Keep them out of sight under a table to be classy. It’s a much more cost-effective, consistant, and quick way to serve mixers. For beer, get a barrel (keg) or a half barrel.
If you are gonna charge for booze/cash bar, find a bar or restaurant that you know people at/like/have a good relationship with, and see if they would be willing to come and set-up and serve. Many bars will have a lic. for outdoor/mobile stuff, and most of them also have mobile cooler/tapper set up. You won’t make any money from the bar this way, but you won’t have to pay anything, either, and you won’t be stuck with, like, 3 gallons of leftover vodka.
Oh, and one thing about serving booze – check the laws. In WI/Milwaukee, a licensed bartender doesn’t even have to serve the drinks, as long as someone with a lic is in the building. You might not have to pay a bartender or whatever if you have a random friend with a lic.
4. ALDI/Costco/Pick N Save/Dollar Stores/Oriental Trading Company are your friends. 99% of the shit from those places is god-awful and ugly, but they have random cute/plain shit for CHEAP. Good places to get the basics like napkins, cups, plain-color streamers, etc.
5. Park pavillions/county parks buildings rule. Many of them have kitchens that you can use and don’t require you to clean up. Random places like bowling alleys and mexican restaurants can also have amazing rooms for rent, cheap. I know this might be more difficult/expensive in the city, but just keep your options and eyes open.
I’ll send you more as I think of it.
Re: DIY party planning
I’m going for a city park type of venue since I want it to be outdoors, and they are generally cheaper, but still: expensive. I mean, a couple thousand dollars. I am resigned to the fact that venue will cost the most. I have kind of prioritized the money splurges: I don’t want to have my wedding in a place I don’t love, and I want a pro photographer, but nothing boring and cheesy.
As for the food, catering all the way. Seriously, I do not want to be running around stressing out making food on my wedding day. Does that sound too princessy? Hee. I mean, it will be a stressful enough day as it is. A couple friends have already suggested inexpensive, small, creative caterers to me, so we’ll do that.
Which brings me to the infuriating fact that many venues I looked at MAKE you choose from THEIR list of caterers. Fuck dat, yo.
Re: DIY party planning
Wow. Remind me not to complain the next time that we have to pay $200 to rent Gordon Park Pavillion for an event.
Maybe you could sweet-talk places into ease-ing the catering requirements. Lie and say you are diabetic or Buddhist or your mom owns the catering company something.
Re: DIY party planning
Well $2000 (for 7 hours) is high-end for this awesome place in Tilden Park in Berkeley. They provide tables and chairs and have a big kitchen, and I dread the thought of having to rent tables and chairs for some reason.
Golden Gate Park is around $600 for four hours in the tulip garden or the Palace of Fine Arts rotunda. I want to check those out this weekend. My worries about those places are just about kitchen access and stuff.
SIGH