Tra la la! I’m about to go lay in bed and read. Tonight was nice. Just relaxed with Brian and I made a nice delicious pile of ribs and bbq sauce. Twas delish.

Tomorrow morning I’m excited to rock out forty minutes of Pilates. My abs are excited too, they told me.

I plucked my eyebrows tonight and spent the whole time fantasizing about going back on Accutane. Seriously, my skin is pretty much back where it started because I quit my course early — except the zits aren’t as large. But there are just as many of them. I was worried that the drug had caused my depression — of course it turned out not to have been the cause at all. The cause of my depression was being a human being and I had to work through it. In the meantime my goddamn zits came back. Which sucks a lot because dammit… the Accutane cured me. My skin was finally flawless. Finally. And now it is again rough and oily and pimpled. Sigh. I should find a different doctor. I would love to have clear skin again in time for my wedding, to be perfectly vain about it.

Ugh. Depressing subject haha. Sigh. My 15 years of bad skin, whee.

My cats are the bestest.

I want the real autumn weather to get here.

I have several organizational projects I want to do in my house… both involving closets: the pantry closet in the kitchen and my bedroom closet. Gotta do that, hi. This weekend? I don’t know. I’m just too scattered. Should make more lists to keep myself focused. That’s how I work.

Saturday: swimming, cleaning, container store, pantry project
Sunday: engagement photo, change bedsheets, arrange social activity with pals

I sometimes feel like I should take better care of my appearance. But primping has never been my nature. I still rarely wear makeup. For work I just throw on whatever tshirt and pants are clean and don’t clash. Often just pull hair into an elastic. But then again, when I take the time to style my hair or put on mascara or wear some shirt buried in my closet that I haven’t worn in months, I feel kinda good about it. However there again is my true nature — not caring to spend a lot of time on this stuff. I am lucky to have a guy who thinks I am beautiful even when I’m sitting around in sweats and glasses and zitfaced on a Saturday morning. Hey, guess that’s why he’s futurehusband.