Had another wedding anxiety dream this morning. This time, the wedding day came and once again there I was greeting guests and letting Brian see my gown before the ceremony. Maybe that’s not such a big deal?
The stressful part of the dream was when I realized that the photographer had not showed up. And nor had the caterer. We had no pictures and no food. And then five minutes before it was supposed to start, no vows, either. And my bridesmaids were missing.
So I guess we threw something together for the ceremony but I was very upset. I also almost forgot to sign the license. I started thinking about how we would have to get all of our money back from the photographer and caterer since they broke the contracts. Then near the end of the reception the caterer shows up, but it doesn’t matter.
In spite of all the chaos and trauma, I still had this incredible feeling of love and happiness in the dream when I realized that Brian and I were married. That was the one good part.
Then I woke up and realized it was just another stupid wedding catastrophe dream. Pretty typical I guess. I lay there and thought about how everything was going swell and there was no need to worry. It’s going to be an amazing wedding. There, there.
I also have event-anxiety dreams before big parties and shows and stuff that I put on.
Yeah, that’s what I am doing after all: planning a formal party for 70 people. I would NOT be able to do it without professional help, unless people were okay with cheese and crackers and cans of soda.
The last time I had this dream, we realized that we were two hours late to the ceremony and that we had no idea what the vows were.
The vows are typically the last thing you do and by far have the most meaning, so that’s probably why they keep factoring into the stress.
I don’t think it’s a big deal if he sees you before the ceremony, actually. It might be better for you guys to get your wedding party/relatives pictures done before the ceremony so then you don’t have to miss like the first hour and a half of the reception, you know?
A cute thing my cousin and her husband did at their wedding (and this only works for relatively small weddings like yours) is that at the end of the ceremony the officiant asked everyone to join them out front for a big group photo. The photographer got up on a balcony and took a picture of Lara and Mike with everyone around them. The picture turned out great and they used it as their Christmas card this year. That, and a couple other family shots, were the only pics they did after the ceremony, so they got right to partyin’.
Oh we really want to do the posed shots before the guests arrive. That is the plan, though we are still toen on whether to do the bride and groom shots then, as well.
One solution to not having the “reveal” during the ceremony is to just stage a “reveal” of the bride before the photo shoot. Our venue even has a nice long staircase leading down from the dressing room.
The tradition of not seeing the bride until the last minute actually stems entirely from arranged marriages anyway — so that it was too late for the groom to back out!
Yeah, I mean, I don’t know how many traditions you wanna follow anyway. Sounds like yours will be very personalized, intimate kind of wedding. Do whatever the heck you want, and if it makes it easier on your stress and enjoyment of the day to do the pics before, then do them.
You should definitely do the group photo, though, if you can. That would be very cool.