hello darkness my old friend

It’s time to night wean Audrey. She’s gonna be so pissed.

But seriously, baby, you’re too old to be waking me up through the night to get a few sips of milk then pass out again but stay latched on while I lay there plotting how I will get you to roll over. And in the morning, the diaper is completely full of course. Maybe one way to transition is to offer water when she wakes up? Though we didn’t do that with Freya. As I recall we employed lullabies and much repetition of “night night, milk. Night night!”

She’s going to be soooo pissed though. Seriously.

I know I need to blog daily. Today I’m feeling like it’s important to record what it was like to be a stay at home mother to two little ones, because in just a few years, it won’t be quite like this anymore.

So here is what happened today. After breakfast, I drove Freya to school, then I got to observe her classroom for 40 minutes or so. I sat with her while she did her work, and got to meet some of her little friends. It was terribly cute. Preschool is the kind of place where I could go every day and never get tired of it.

Then I drove home to relieve Brian of baby duty. Audrey played with a tiny cardboard box while I drank my coffee. Babies love boxes. Before went to pick up big sister, we stopped at the market to get a few groceries.

After lunch, both girls napped and I started the au jus for French dip sandwiches for tonight. I basked in the silence for awhile. Around 3:00, baby woke up in a happy mood, and Freya woke up immediately after. I took them both downstairs and started Freya’s favorite cooking show on TV. She really likes the pioneer woman. We watch it together and talk about the recipes as well as whatever farm life they might be showing.

And now it’s time to change Audrey’s diaper, clean up the dishes, pick up toys together in the front room, and then probably work on jigsaw puzzles. Freya has become very interested in the small puzzles that are sold at the dollar store. They only have 24 pieces each and she can fly through them without using the box as a guide. I got us a 100 piece puzzle a couple weeks back, but I think that one might be a bit over her head. Luckily I love jigsaw puzzles too.

Sometimes the days get a little monotonous, but it has become so much easier now that Audrey can walk and play independently with toys or with her sister.

Though I am going to try going TV and laptop free tomorrow and Friday. Doing that usually leads to a far more interesting day.

Another challenging day. I ended up at the store this afternoon to pick up sweet potatoes, avocado, and a few other things for dinner. I had a chicken taco salad in greens with brown rice and vegetables, Brian and Freya had chicken tacos in wheat tortillas with cheese. Not easy cruising the cart past the cupcakes and yogurt and crackers. But not that hard, either.

Freya was home today and yesterday with a cold. Yesterday she had a fever and had to be convinced to let me put the thermometer in her mouth. She’s been having a rough time of it, which could explain her bratty behavior tonight. Most likely she’ll be back at school tomorrow and in better spirits.

Each day on this diet I feel a little better. It’s hard to put into words. But I do wonder — if switching to this way of eating has even affected the way my hair feels, of all things, what does that mean that sugar/flour/dairy have been doing to my insides all these years??

Tonight Audrey played with her rings on a spindle toy. She was pretty into it. At one point she picked the whole thing up and carried it off into the dining room to work on it alone. Then once all the rings were stacked, she brought it back to show me.

As I did with Freya, I marvel at her cognitive ability. The volume of language she comprehends without being able to speak. “Go get a book, Audrey,” I say. She toddles over to the book shelf. And so on. I know this is totally boilerplate mom, but, she is so freaking clever and funny and amazing and I love her!!!

It’s day ten. I’m a third of the way through my challenge. I have more energy during the day, my hair has become unusually soft, my (TMI ahead) bowels have calmed and regulated.

Today I ate sardines for lunch. I love a nice sardine pâté. I had steel cut oats with fruit for breakfast. In the afternoon I shared some fresh popcorn with Freya — popped in coconut oil and seasoned with salt and nutritional yeast. For dinner I made chicken soup using one whole chicken, homemade stock, carrots, onions, celery, and parsnips. After the girls get to sleep I’m going downstairs to have a cup of tea and a piece of “pumpkin pie bread”, which is a dairy-wheat-sugar free quick bread I made this morning. It has the flavor and texture of pumpkin pie. It’s amazing. I used some pumpkin purée that I made last night.

So this whole deal is making me more into cooking from scratch than usual, apparently.

It was an amazing weekend. I didn’t get to everything on my list, but I did organize the pantry and attend a beautiful party for a beautiful little three-year-old girl. Oh and the Seahawks won. Yay!

I’ve been without any refined sugar, dairy products, flour, legumes, coffee, or tomatoes for seven days. That is a first. My body is quite unused to going without these things, so is in some kind of adjustment phase. I think that’s why this is a 30-day regimen. Like kicking any other physical addiction, it takes time to process cravings, withdrawals, and finally, healing.

I’m still having occasional mild pains. Especially under the ribcage. One thing that was discussed was an ulcer. Yikes. I wonder if the diet and herbs can heal that. Anyway the point is I have less pain, but it’s not totally gone.

What I am noticing is more energy. It’s subtle, but there. I feel as though I’ve lost a couple pounds. I’m getting a bit better sleep. I feel good about EVERYTHING I’m eating. Though I’m still craving waffles and chocolate and cheese, I haven’t wavered off course.

I took a couple yoga classes this week, too. Really awesome. That’s about to be a regular thing. Audrey is definitely capable of being without mommy for an hour or two. She is quite the adventurer, really.

Well that’s about it for now. Twenty-three more days. Then to develop the long term plan and hopefully discover what was troubling my tummy last month.