granite

March 29, 2013 by Jane

Yes, I’ve been absent! Apologies. Keeping up is hard. The main thing occupying my time the past couple of weeks, outside of the usual hanging with the girls, is making plans to remodel our kitchen in about a month.

It was actually sort of fun for me to go back and forth between Lowe’s and Home Depot, playing them off each other, watching as their quotes dipped lower and lower. When I finally started to figure out the intricacies of designing the cabinet layouts, it made me wish I had started the exploratory process a couple of months ago, so I could have fine tuned even more.

But I think we came up with a great design, and got a price we can afford. My haggling knocked almost $3000 off the total bid. Incredibly, we’ll be getting our granite counter from Home Depot. I know they are considered very expensive, but of the four quotes I got (HD, Lowe’s, Pius in Seattle, and Creative Countertops), not only did they give me the best price (arm-twisting + a convenient 10% off sale that started this week), but they also had a stone that I really loved. And the salesman was tenacious, kept in contact with me, and seemed determined to beat whatever Lowe’s offered.

The Lowe’s guy was nice, and their price point before discounts was lower, but it was impossible to get anyone on the phone over there. Pius had pretty good prices, but they seemed extremely disorganized, and the Yelp reviews were absolutely dismal. Creative Countertops was awesome, and seemed like they would have been great to work with, but of course had the highest prices of all and stated up front that they would not attempt to beat other quotes.

So the cabinets and counters have been ordered. The cabinetry will give us three or four times as much cupboard and drawer space (right now we have one usable upper cabinet in our kitchen. One!). The doors and fronts will be cherry hardwood, stained a deep bordeaux-brown. There will be a big wonderful island, where I will do most of my meal prep. The island will have an overhang on the back for a couple of bar stools for the kids. It will also have a pullout drawer containing our trash and recycling bins. This was one of the freebies I negotiated. I also got us free cabinet hardware (pulls), a free undersink cabinet, and a free tiered cutlery organizer drawer. Those four items were valued at over $1500. All I had to do was let HD know what Lowe’s was willing to give me gratis (in writing), and they matched it. La la la!

The counters will be granite, a dream come true. Only once for a brief period have I had a kitchen with granite — a rental in SF in 2003, when the landlord decided to improve the place a bit. Of course I moved out soon after to live with Brian. Anyway, we chose a grey-white stone with flecks and flakes of dark gray, bordeaux red, and taupe. It’s called “Powder White”. Good contrast and complement to the cabinets.

Floor: changing hideous peeling stick-laminate tiles to hardwood. Throughout kitchen, hall, and living room. Boo yah. Roomba will have something to do again! Bye-bye nasty living room rug.

Appliances: Found a gorgeous Whirlpool gas convection range on sale for 20% off at Lowe’s. Bought matching over-the-stove microwave for a steal. They will match with our refrigerator. I will not miss our pathetic ceramic top range, or the giant footprint of counter space our microwave eats up.

We’re totally removing and covering a window on the far wall. And replacing the over the sink window with a vinyl energy efficient one. The new window will be framed in wood to match cabinets, and have no curtains, to allow in the most light.

Installing a third bank of can lights in the ceiling, removing ugly dated pendant lamps.

Demoing the peninsula and decorative obstructive wall so that the whole space opens up. I hope to use the open space for a kitchen table. I dislike having a separate room for eating. Not sure how this will work yet since it’s hard to imagine this space without the huge peninsula in the way.

Oh and new paint on the walls. And a tile backsplash. Those are my projects for the next couple weeks: pick colors. Ugh.

I’ll post pictures soon.

So out of this whole experience I gained something. I realized that I would make a kick-ass project manager. I loved organizing all the details, doing the legwork, doing the research, making the phone calls, etc. This could be something I could do for money someday. Who wants to hire me?

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mommy

March 5, 2013 by Jane

“Mommy.” I heard Freya’s voice from down the hall. I was awake — seems like I always am in some state of wakefulness. I don’t know what time it was. The baby was asleep next to me, having just nursed back down, and seemed pretty still, so I crept away and went to Freya’s room.

She was laying there with covers drawn back. The dog was curled up at the foot of the bed, a huge black comforting shape dimly illuminated by the nightlight. Freya looked at me wide-eyed, and coughed a little. I sat beside her.

“Do you need some water?”

“Yes.”

I fetched the water and watched her drink it, then had her lay back down again. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; I suspected she was barely awake herself. I suddenly felt the need to cuddle with her, so I climbed in and balanced on the edge of the bed.

Freya rolled toward me and put an arm around me, then she melted softly against my chest, and for one sweet little moment, she was my baby again, and I remembered all those nights she shared our bed, how she required an arm around me, and burrowed her face into my neck. I don’t know why it seems like so long ago — a year ago we were still co-sleeping with her, but it was nearly at and end because my pregnancy was making it difficult, and we wanted her to transition to her room well before Audrey was born.

Anyway, last night I lay there with her a few minutes, then said to her that I would tuck her in now. I sat up and pulled the covers up around her body. She rolled over to face her stuffed animal collection without a sound. “Good dog, Kona.” I pet our dog’s soft head, and then returned to my bed, to my other baby.

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phlegm is a gross word/thing

March 1, 2013 by Jane

There is a point during a chest cold when you start forgetting what it was like to not have a disgusting cough, even if it’s only been a week. When you start feeling so very sorry for yourself, wondering WILL THIS NEVER END????? etc etc.

Or maybe it’s just me.

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it’s quiet

February 27, 2013 by Jane

Everyone is still in bed. Audrey seemed to sleep okay last night, though did wake to nurse as usual and had some short coughing fits. The coughing scares me. I know cough is a normal part of a chest cold, but I also know it can turn into something worse, and I don’t like thinking about that.

Dreamed that I worked in a hospital. All the lights were out, everyone had left. I finally had some time to bake the cookies I’d been trying to make all day. I searched for an oven. My recipe called for “five bites of brioche bread, chewed well.” Yes, chew up some brioche and put it into the cookie batter. Yum!

There was also something about Brian and I visiting some girl who had had a baby recently, to give her some advice on breastfeeding. Her apartment was no bigger than our living room, and she had a cat who looked exactly like my dear Simon. Actually maybe he was Simon. It’s always nice to see my old friend in my dreams. Anyway, her tiny apartment was full of furniture. It was hard to move around.

I have always been one to remember my dreams in vivid detail. I attribute it to my historically poor sleeping habits.

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quarantine

February 26, 2013 by Jane

I got about a week off from it, and now I am sick. Again. Along with both girls. Poor Audrey has it bad. So much snot and tears.

I hope this garlic in my cheeks works.

It’s a beautiful sunny/cloudy day and I wish I was outside right now. But it will be another long day indoors in pajamas for us.

Hopefully I will get a little time later to make a batch of play-dough.

The end

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intolerance

February 25, 2013 by Jane

It has been more than two weeks since I stopped eating tomatoes.

I have suspected for a pretty long time that I might have an intolerance to tomatoes. It seemed that a day after eating large amounts of tomato-based meals, my lower digestive tract would become quite… irritable. A few weeks ago I finally decided to cut out tomato, and see what happened.

I’ve been fine ever since, without getting too personal on the subject.

Rather bummed out… I love making bolognese and other red sauces, and chili, too.

To be fair, I have actually eaten a very small portion: there were two slices of fresh tomato on a burger I ate last week. Seemed to be okay? I don’t know. I suppose I could perform a test this week and make a big pot of tomatoey stew or something, to see if tomato was indeed the culprit, or if I had a coincidental stomach bug.

And given how much cucumber I had a couple nights back, it doesn’t seem to be a nightshade thing.

Clearly I am not an expert on this subject, and this is nowhere close to scientific method.

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tough time

February 25, 2013 by Jane

Both girls are sick, coughing, runny noses, and little baby had a fever all night. I put a humidifier in Freya’s room in the hopes it might help her chest. She complicated things last night by goofing around on her bed and slamming the back of her head into the nightstand. Audrey was restless all night, coughing and snorting through snot as she nursed. Brian did something to his back that is so bad he can’t really lift Audrey and needed me to apply a medicated pad to the muscle, and he had to skip day two of the training he had really been looking forward to.

I know I will probably be sick soon. Need to frontload the garlic and vitamins. I hope Freya is well by the end of the week — she is going to a special Yo Gabba Gabba live show in Seattle with Brian. The worst part should pass by tomorrow I hope. Meanwhile there’s my little baby, I hate to hear her cough and all I can give her is breastmilk and hope it’s enough.

Not sure how to spin this positively but I need to try. We have had so much sickness this winter in our house, how much more can we take? It leaves me once again isolated and alone, up most of the night with insomnia, listening for my daughter’s voice down the hall, and listening to my thoughts crash around in my head.

And now I feel like a jerk for “complaining.” Oh woe is me! But there has got to be a safe space where I can vent. This is it!

End on a good note, Eeyore! I gave both my daughters their bubble baths yesterday and it was so sweet. It is going to be awesome when Audrey is old enough to share the tub with her sister. Epic splashing, probably.

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sometimes I just want to throw the TV out the window

February 23, 2013 by Jane

I’m listening to the ballgame on the radio; spring is coming.

Today and tomorrow Brian is away in Seattle most of the day. I’m here with a little girl who is ONCE AGAIN sick. Seems bad this time — her voice is hoarse and nose extra snotty. Sigh. Getting very tired of the back to back to back colds. We were so spoiled those years when she was not in a germ-filled environment four days a week. I ought to be eating cloves of garlic in preparation.

Early this morning as I prepared for my weekend of solo-momming, I daydreamed a little about those days pre-kids, and what I did with myself on the weekend. Can barely remember. The daydream came about because before the girls got up today, I had a few minutes to sit on the couch with hot coffee and actually read a magazine. I suddenly remembered living in San Francisco, and Sunday mornings spent lazily flipping through magazines on the couch, nowhere to be, nothing to do. Maybe taking a walk to the bakery for a croissant, listening to my ipod along the way. La la la.

I don’t think I was feeling sorry for myself or anything, just nostalgic.

Later, after my poor sick Freya was in bed napping, I took Audrey to our room to lay down with her. She nursed, but didn’t sleep. Her blue eyes locked into mine, and her tiny fingers reached for my mouth. She made a soft little baby sound. We looked at each other for a while in the dim afternoon light. I’ll get my lazy time back again soon enough. For now, I’ll enjoy a little lazy time with my baby girl, knowing how fleeting it is.

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what we did today

February 22, 2013 by Jane

I got up before seven as I usually do, and drank my hot coffee while catching up on Community and Parks & Rec on the Tivo. Let Freya sleep in. Then we all ate breakfast together, dressed, and Freya and I went together to Bainbridge Island while Brian stayed home with the baby.

We drove through the pouring rain to the Kids Discovery Museum. It was crowded, as expected, but not intolerably so. I shadowed Freya as she played with the various activities, and said hi to one of her little preschool buddies. By quarter past 11, I was starving, so we went back to the car and drove up the road to Blackbird Bakery for lunch.

It is so awesome having a calm and independent three-year-old, I’ll tell ya what. While I ordered food at the counter (spinach quiche for me, PB&J and milk for her), Freya sat quietly at our table drawing pictures in the pad I had in my purse. We had our lunch and talked about stuff, then I cleaned up her face and we headed back home.

Tonight Brian is at a self-defense seminar in Seattle, so I am making dinner here for Freya and me (it’s a broccoli and brown rice casserole thing. Not bad. Needs sharp cheddar instead of what we have, tho.). The girls have actually been playing together. Considering that Audrey is only 8 months old, it’s not exactly an equal kind of play, but as long as the baby isn’t crying and no one is getting hurt, it’s all good by me. They adore each other, which is what matters.

Since Brian won’t be home until nine, I think I’ll let Freya watch a movie after dinner and let Audrey doze off on my lap.

Thus concludes this entry. Good night!

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walking

February 19, 2013 by Jane

In December, I became determined to get back into walking for exercise. But the weather was of course horrid for the most part, so I thought I’d take up the American sport of mall walking. We have a moderately sized indoor shopping mall in Kitsap, only a few minutes drive from Freya’s preschool. I dropped her off at nine, then headed to the mall with Audrey and the stroller, intent on at least forty minutes of brisk walking.

Here’s what I learned after having done this activity about a dozen or so times since then. Mall walking is somehow even more boring than being on a treadmill. Much more dull than circling an oval track. And besides that, the repetitive sight of the same dreary retail shops over and over again gets a bit depressing. Kitsap Mall doesn’t have very interesting places to window shop. No, it has Spencer’s and Claire’s and Cinnabon, and obscure bargain-basement clothing stores full of cable knit sweaters and old lady blouses from China. I made a full loop of the mall every ten minutes, so I got to pass these places four times each morning. Oh and when it’s not Christmastime, you get to listen to wall-to-wall 1950s oldies, the cheesier the better.

The weather has softened and dried out a bit. This morning I dropped off Freya, and then headed home to bundle Audrey snug in the stroller and head down our driveway. We walked out to the main road, listening to distant cars and flocks of birds overhead. I felt the cold breeze on my ears. I looked around at the clouds and the trees — there are tiny buds starting to grow on a few of the cherry trees on Noll. Audrey was gazing around too, in fact she was so captivated she didn’t even fall asleep until we were almost home again, forty-five minutes later. She’s still asleep now, in the entry way of our house. This walk was quiet and invigorating, giving me a chance to calm my mind and think about things. I believe our brief episode of mall walking is at an end.

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