problem solving

Freya has figured out how to solve her shape sorting ball. She got it as a present from her grandfather when she was about eleven months old, and started solving it herself seven months later, which I think developmentally is still a bit early.

She likes working on her stacking cups, though today was getting really frustrated that she couldn’t put a larger cup into a smaller one. I tried to explain the difference between big and small to her.

She loves to color, and organize her crayons, or dump them on the floor. We routinely have to ask her not to color on the window or the wall or the table. Oh well. At least she doesn’t try to eat them anymore.

She is finally starting to expand her palate a bit more dramatically, and at dinner I can usually give her some things from my plate. Last night it was meatballs. She loves cheese, toast with peanut butter, strawberries, blueberries (well, any fruit), avocado, etc. Still not wild about beans or rice, though. We’re always trying to get her more protein. The other night she ate many bites of shredded chicken breast, too.

She is a bit obsessed with Sesame Street, which she calls “la la”, which is also her word for Elmo, possibly because the song “Elmo’s World” begins with “la la la la.” That’s the only TV show we let her really watch, with the exception of Jeopardy!, which she enjoys singing along to. Also when I turn on a baseball game, she says “baseball.” hee.

Her mind seems to grow more curious every single day. She says many words, from “knee” to “book” to ” cow” (in her own way of course), and understands many more. This is a period of rapid change, and it’s so much fun. If only the weather would get better. It’s almost mid-May, and still no hot days, scarcely even any “warm” days. Sigh. My daughter has so many dresses that she has never worn.

mama mama

training

Just finished my burst training workout. It takes about five minutes total, and I have been doing it every morning for almost two weeks. Though it is brief, it is very hard because it involves things like pushups and crunches done at high speeds. Ouch. I need stronger shoulders. Though I sometimes dread this workout, I always feel pretty great when it’s done.

I have also been on a new eating plan of sorts for almost two weeks — a “slow carb” diet, meaning that for six days of the week, I don’t eat any refined sugars or fruit juice, no artificial sweeteners, no bread or pasta or rice or baked goods of any kind. And, more real foods, whole foods, large portions of vegetables, lean meats, etc. This part has been tough. I miss rice and bread a lot. Even though I only eat brown rice and whole grain bread, they aren’t part of this “diet” which is for weight loss, not forever. I’m sure I’ll go back to those soon. But I do want to lose 10 or 15 pounds, and I want to see if this thing actually works.

The nice thing about it is that I do get one “cheat day” per week, where I can just eat whatever I want. I am still not a fan of junk food so I don’t just go immediately to McDonald’s of course, but on my last cheat day, Mother’s Day, I did have whole wheat blueberry pancakes, a (nasty) slice of pizza, a few chocolate truffles, and some ice cream for dessert.

I haven’t weighed myself, partly because I suspect our cheap bathroom scale is extremely inaccurate. I may try to find a good one today. Though it would be handy to belong to a gym right now and just go use a real scale. Or maybe the pharmacy has one. Or I could just walk into a doctor’s clinic and ask to step on theirs ha ha.

Anyway. This largely stems from an episode a couple weeks ago when Brian and I went to Macy’s and I decided to try on these cute green capri pants. Maybe it was the fit, or maybe it was just me, but I tried on my usual size and was too fat, then went a size up from that and still looked like I had sausage-thighs. I very nearly wept in the dressing room. I thought about all the crap I have been eating for months, and just said, fuck this. No more. I’m going to do something about this. So I did.

too long

Oh my god it’s been two months. Sorry. Few excuses. Except that instead of writing here, I’ve been taking my precious moments at my desk to work on my book instead, after not looking at it for over two years.

Which brings me to a rather interesting, spooky, magical fact:

Back in 2007 (or maybe even earlier) before we conceived Freya, maybe even before we left SF, I was putting together character profiles for my novel, writing fairly regularly, etc. At some point in the story, the birth date of the male protagonist is brought up, so I had to decide on when that would be. I decided on sometime in the fall, and that I wanted him to be a Scorpio, so I chose October 27.

Later, in early 2009 I got pregnant and didn’t work on my book at all. I was too exhausted at home and couldn’t write at work, either. My due date was October 12.

As some of you know, my due date came and went, and I continued to be pregnant for another two weeks until we finally went into the hospital to try to instigate something. We tried to get labor to start for something like fourteen hours, the afternoon turned into the next morning, and Freya was born at 5:39 am on… October 27.

And I didn’t realize or remember this little piece of serendipity until literally a week or so ago when I was looking at very old drafts that hadn’t been touched since 2008. Holy shit, I thought.

I love that they share a birthday. So much.

another rainy day

Once again it’s pouring rain. I feel so bad keeping Freya cooped up. I wish there was somewhere close and dry we could go besides the mall, ugh. I am so sick of this cold wet winter!

Also it’s spring forward day, which I HATE. I’ll be disoriented for a few days. Who knows when Freya will nap/sleep. Grump.

I’ve been obsessing over this tote. It’s so happy and springy. We had our taxes done on Friday and found out we are getting a pretty big refund, which makes me think about buying cute bags.

But then today I decided that every time I sit down at my computer and start thinking about a purse I want, instead I will open up my googledoc for my book and write something instead for my novel, just a thought or sentence or paragraph I’ve been kicking around. Wonder if I can stick to that.

Hey Brian just got out of bed. Time for lunch!

sick

I caught Freya’s cold, and so did Brian. She recovered in less than 24 hours, but Brian and I are not as tough as our little baby, so we are both kind of a mess. But she still must be cared for, so while I’d love to be laying on the couch with some tea, dozing through a movie on TV, instead I must be wide awake and reading books to her and changing diapers and giving her snacks. Also the weather outside sucks, which means no outings today. I HATE YOU WINTER PLEASE STOP NOW.

Also yesterday I did two 5-minute burst training routines, not thinking about how my poor muscles would pay for it today. My quads, back, sides, etc, are all sore. It’s good, it means I used them well, but bodyaches + a cold really blows, especially when I must carry my 20+ lb baby around the house.

In nicer news, I bought forty small unopened daffodil stems yesterday for $5 and placed them into a clear glass carafe in the kitchen window. They are slowly beginning to bloom and it’s lovely.

body metrics

Last night, at the insistence of my husband — who considers being a personal trainer something of a hobby — I completed a body metrics form, which required me to tape measure certain parts of myself: hips, waist, thighs, etc. Ugh. Oh and I had to step on the scale, too. I found myself 1/2 pound away from a number I very much dislike.

It was good to see the numbers nonetheless, and maybe feel like once I really start daily exercise, I could take the measurements again and see if they have changed for the better. I would really very much like my thighs and belly to be smaller, mostly so that I fit into my jeans more comfortably. I am not buying new pants (in a larger size). No way.

I’d like winter to stop now, please.

My baby has a sniffly cold, nothing serious, just runny snot and maybe puffy eyes, poor girl. But I think it will be brief. She drank lots of my milk yesterday, which is also cold medicine for babies.

Supposed to go to yoga again tonight, this time the active yoga class. Not sure yet if I will. I should probably make dinner early this afternoon and have it ready to heat up when I get home. I really need to plan better. In my case, actually writing things down with pen and paper is a good way to stay organized with daily tasks. For I am old.

Oh and set your Tivos: my friend from Back in the Day, Dan Sinker, will appear on the Colbert Report this evening. Very excited for him and hope he does well and gets lots of laughs.

yoga

Last night I went to a “therapeutic” yoga class in a small studio downtown. I used a five class gift certificate Brian gave me for Mother’s Day last year.

The last time I took an organized yoga class was in August of 2007 in San Francisco. It was a Bikram studio near our apartment in the Sunset. Bikram is also known as “hot yoga” — they turn up the thermostat to like 95 degrees while you do pretty strenuous poses. They were offering a deal at the time: 30 days for $30, so I decided to purchase that and then go for thirty consecutive weekday morning classes. At the end of the month, we would move to Washington.

It was pretty awesome, once I got used to the heat after a few days. I always left feeling like a wet noodle. Also I wasn’t working at the time so I got to go in the morning, then walk home all sweaty and take a shower. It feels so decadent now, thinking about it, as my toddler runs around in the room with me and just taking a shower at all takes major planning.

Anyway, so last night. I was prepared for the kind of yoga I used to do in SF, yoga that felt like exercise, that made me break a sweat. But I guess I picked the wrong class. The whole hour felt to me like one long warm-up. When does the yoga start? I wondered, as everyone lay on their backs, supported by numerous props, in the dark. There were no standing poses at all, no downward dogs, and lots of bolsters and blankets and straps for support. Most of the other participants were also middle-aged or older.

I guess one plus that differentiated it from SF-style yoga was there wasn’t that “competitive” feeling I used to get in those classes, where there were always a few people who were more flexible and fit than everyone else and seemed to be mayyybe showing off. Also this class had no mirror, thank god.

If it did anything, it made me want to start going again regularly, and practicing at home too. But I am going to find a more advanced class next time. It’s a very small studio so I really only have one other choice that fits my schedule: Tuesday at 5:45. I suspect it will be a much more popular class and have a very different vibe. Next week.

taking care of myself

Tomorrow is March 1st. It means that spring will be here in about six to eight weeks. But seriously, there is light at the end of this long winter’s tunnel. And I need to make some changes. Throughout this miserable season, I have been quite inactive, and have eaten far too many unhealthy snacks, treats, whathaveyou. That needs to stop.

I don’t have a structured game plan, but I do buy and prepare the food in our house, so it’s my responsibility to make sure more vegetables, fruit, lean meat, and whole grains go into my diet. And that I don’t bring home any more sweets, even if they are HFCS-free.

As far as exercise, I realized that last winter (when Freya was very small and slept a lot, and I would take her on walks almost every day for an hour or more) was unusually warm and more importantly dry. This winter has seen a lot of rain, wind, and other grossness that has kept my lazy ass indoors. Also baby doesn’t nap in the stroller anymore like she used to. She is alert and looks at everything and talks about things she sees, primarily birds, school buses, and the moon.

Anyway, I need to get outdoors more and eat better. And drink more water. Thank god I am still breastfeeding — I’d probably be ten pounds heavier without that. My goal is to lose a few pounds but more concretely, fit better/look better in my clothes. Very simple.

The other thing I want to start that I haven’t done pretty much since I had Freya is to wear a little bit of makeup every day. I know this might sound lame, but some of you women will understand. Wearing a little eye shadow and mascara really does make me feel better about my appearance, makes me feel “finished”, exactly the way remembering to put on earrings and do something with my hair does. I really need to get back in the habit of this. It helps me feel like a normal woman again instead of the housebound 24/7 mommy I was in the first weeks after Freya’s birth. Pre-baby I used to wear a full face of makeup every day, I’m not going back to that. Just a little eye makeup will do. I also used to wear earrings + necklace + sometimes a bracelet every day too. Necklaces are still too enticing to Freya, but I can do earrings now, finally.

This concludes today’s vanity post.

pho

Today I went out to lunch with Christina and her son, Evan (I left Freya at home with Brian to take her nap). We went to a little “hole in the wall” joint in the middle of a strip mall here in town, between a UPS store and an Albertson’s. You’d think we would be in for some mediocre fare. BUT NO. This place served pho, or Vietnamese soup, among other Asian staples. But the pho was the star. I had never had it before. I ordered the small bowl, and an order of spring rolls.

The spring rolls were HUGE, and packed with ingredients. Served with a yummy brown sauce, I ate the whole thing. It was seriously eight inches long, almost a small burrito. Then the pho came, along with the condiments plate: a pile of bean sprouts, lime wedges, jalapeno pepper slices, and a large spring of fresh basil. OMG they aren’t fooling around, I thought. I dug into my broth, which was swimming with green onions, cilantro, shredded chicken breast, rice noodles, and white onion. It was heavenly! Also it was like six bucks, and four for the two large spring rolls. Our entire lunch for the both of us came to $18 + tip.

After that I had some precious time on my own (very rare) so I took myself out for a hot chocolate and picked up a chai for Brian. I headed home. Not much to do outside today as it’s bitterly cold right now. Soon after I got home one of my eBay auctions ended successfully, netting me several hundred dollars and clearing another purse from my closet. Happy times. I celebrated with a much needed shower, where I tried out a new shampoo from Joico. As I was drying my hair afterward, I realized that this new shampoo might actually be really good. My hair felt unusually soft and silky. I had been looking at a bunch of different brands, and after realizing that every single one listed sodium laurel sulfate as the second ingredient, I figured I would just go ahead and not worry about that since shampoo, after all, goes down the drain, it doesn’t sit on your face all day like a moisturizer. This particular shampoo got glowing reviews online. I remember I used to use Joico in high school or college… in the 90s, anyway.

Freya only napped for 35 minutes today because she woke up mid-nap and of course Brian was unable to nurse her back to sleep. I tried it when I got home but she didn’t snooze, so we cuddled in bed then got up to go play. So this means that hopefully she will go to sleep easily tonight. Fingers crossed. I do love to spoon that baby. Last night I was awake for whatever reason at 4am, curled around her, and she turned halfway over toward me and in a clear voice said, “uh ohhh” in her sleep. Cute cute cute.

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