I’m looking at the ferry docked in Seattle on the ferry web cam. There it floats, late as usual, deck crowded with people. Usually, I would be standing there too, looking up at the buildings or down at the waiting row of bicycles on the car deck. Getting ready for my hike up to Third, wondering what to do when I miss my bus.
But instead I am home. The dog is sleeping at my feet, I’m in my robe, which now can’t really be closed properly, only belted. I am just that huge. This morning I sat up in bed, chewing on a bran muffin, feeling the baby churn from one side to the other, then drift into a little spell of hiccups.
Outside it’s gray and wet. I think summer is really over. I’m kind of bummed that I can’t wear any of my nice fall clothes. I have one maternity long-sleeved T and one maternity sweater. And a bunch of cardigans and jackets that I can’t close. Hmm. Time to get creative, or start wearing Brian’s clothes… though even that won’t work; he is pretty fit.
Oh! But scarves and hats and gloves don’t care how big my belly is. I do love those.
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Dinner tonight: roasted new potatoes, local summer squash, carrots, and broccoli, served over steamed rice. Really good.
Tomorrow’s Monday… I am working, at home, which means sleeping in until like 7:30 (amazing!!), having a breakfast I don’t have to scarf down, and walking Kona from 8-8:30, and then logging into work. Ahhh.
I will also officially be at 38 weeks, and the clock is really ticking now. I feel larger than ever, just extremely awkward and fat 🙁 , but at the same time, more aware than ever of my baby inside me and her churning limbs, and so very excited to finally meet her. All’s well medically, she is measuring perfectly as usual and my blood pressure is always good at my appointments. I am trying hard to be as prepared as I can for birth, but really that means staying moderately active and hydrated and getting enough sleep, etc.
We went to the library today because Brian needed a card. I checked out a couple of Anita Brookner books.
Oh and my dad & his wife departed for Arizona today. They will be back in the spring. I do wish he could be here when the baby is born… but pictures and maybe video will have to do in the meantime.
Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on sunday evening post
Me: due in 2 weeks (!)
Rena: due in Nov
Ann: due in Feb
Alantra (& my brother): due in May
Aliki, Lisa, and Julie: due in spring
When it rains it pours!
Oh and my other sister-in-law Dee and my v. good friend Tamara had babies this summer.
My little girl wants out. The feeling is mutual! I can barely wait to meet her.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby | 1 Comment »
The boat was relatively on time today. Two minutes late is a good day. The sky was a high, cool curtain of white clouds — a nice break from what has seemed like five months of heatwaves. I sat in the top deck quiet room and listened to a podcast.
It came time to disembark, and I stood near the front of the crowd, knowing how slow I walk and how tight that connection to my bus always is. We were released into the cattle chute and I started my march eastward to Third. On the way, everyone had to go around/step over some homeless people who had just laid their stuff and their bedding right across the narrow bridge that connects the terminal with Marion Street.
I missed a couple traffic lights and started to fret about my bus. As I waddled down Third toward Columbia, I saw it down the block, approaching the red light. So I waited across the road. I waved my arm to get the driver’s attention. I was ten yards away.
The light finally turned and I started crossing, still waving to the driver. He ignored me and pulled out into the lane. HEY! I shouted. HEY!! The bus blew right by me. I couldn’t believe it. Because I am eight and a half months pregnant and hormonal, I had to sit down and cry for a minute or two. Fucking asshole, I thought. Fuck this pathetic, provincial backwater of a “city” and its joke of a transit system.
So that’s why I was late to work, again.
But today is the penultimate day. It’s to be expected. I think every day this week I have been presented with some kind of public transit incompetency in my commute, or at the very least something irritating. Maybe the coup de grace tomorrow will be a 45-minutes-late ferry that causes me to miss my doctor appt!
Anyway. Eating lunch at my desk now. Leftover green beans and mashed potatoes from last night. Mmm. Snack later will be a pear and a slice of cheese. I will attempt to avoid being tempted by the junk food. I realized today that being at home will vastly improve my diet. No more eating out, no more desperation candy bars. It will be lots cheaper, too.
Last night I did not sleep well, as always. Woke up multiple times to pee or change positions or otherwise sit/lie there trying to get back to sleep. At some point around 4am, Kona woke up from a bad dream and started howling/crying like she does when she has one of her little doggy nightmares. Brian and I both got out of bed to go hug her and pet her. I feel bad for thinking this is the cutest thing in the world.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged kona, pregnant, wah, work | 2 Comments »
It has once again been too long since I posted and I don’t have a cohesive entry in mind so I will just string together a few random things.
+ Brian and I visited the SAM last week (we were on a date) and after enjoying the Wyeth exhibition, fell in love with this raven puppet that was hanging out in the kids area. Want to have. Verily.
+ Thirty-seven weeks. Feels like an iron ball is attached to my torso. I am fat, awkward, and uncomfortable. And sick of all my clothes, which I am steadily growing out of, in part because cheap maternity clothing can only be washed so many times before it starts to really shrink up. Baby is kicking as strenuously as ever; good girl. But sometimes it almost hurts, like when she rakes a knee or heel over my abdomen. I think she wants out soon. We are just about ready, the nursery is set (not that she’ll really be in there much), she has a little basic wardrobe of things to wear. Just waiting on the remaining cloth pre-fold diapers to arrive next week.
+ Very swiftly, the trees outside my window here at work changed their colors from green to yellow. And now the yellow leaves are shedding fast, spinning down to the street below. By the time the horribly offensive gas-powered leaf blowers show up, I will hopefully have finished commuting and be tucked into my nest at home. I’m working remotely next week (provided I don’t go into labor), and after that… we wait. And I clean and organize things and make food.
+ I need a haircut. And one more paid-for pedicure.
+ My baby shower was pretty awesome. My friend Ann went totally above and beyond and everything was just beautiful. And yesterday we had another little party at home, very casual, with a few local friends and neighbors. I made my favorite pasta salad, Brian made chocolate-chip pecan cookies, and one of the guests brought us a peanut butter pie with Oreo crust. I almost wept at the fact that I could not eat a giant slice of it. I was stuck with about four bites.
+ Which brings me to my heartburn. Wah! Lately I have been openly fantasizing about the HUGE meals I am going to eat once my uterus has been evacuated and my stomach can resume its normal volume. These days I am eating the smallest un-acidic portions I can manage, in an effort to quell the heartburn I get every day starting sometime in the afternoon. Medicine so far does nothing. I figure I can handle this for another three weeks or so. Then when we arrive home with baby, I am going to send Brian out for a massive platter of good sushi and a bottle of very good beer to go with it.
+ The title of this post is my misinterpretation of the title of an old Spoon song.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged pregnant | 2 Comments »
I’m in my home office/guest room, listening to My Bloody Valentine, burning a lovely Tocca candle, surrounded by cats, harboring a fetus, trying to get in a position where I can’t sense the heartburn.
Today dawned nice and rainy. I could hear the neighbor’s heavy wind chimes softly moving outside. I went downstairs at nine and made a bowl of raisin bran flakes with a sliced peach, and a small cup of coffee.
We spent the day just doing errands and housework/yardwork stuff. I am moving rather slowly. I borrowed my neighbor’s bundt pan for the blueberry coffee cake I am making early tomorrow morning. I pruned back roses. We cleaned up the garage and visited the recycling center. Put ceramic knobs on the baby’s dresser drawers. Opened a gift from some friends: a sweet teddy bear and a DVD of “Happiest Baby on the Block.”
I made an iTunes playlist for my baby shower filled with songs that kind of make me teary-eyed. This may have been a bad idea.
And no one
Is ever gonna love you more than I do.
No one’s gonna love you more than I do.
And so on.
Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby, bitching, work | Enter your password to view comments.
I hate that I can’t run. So much so that I wonder if, as soon as my body has recovered from childbirth, I will start running for exercise, simply because I can. Of course by then it will be December. But that won’t deter me. I’ll leave baby with Brian for a half hour or so and take a nice jog in the crisp wintery air. I can see it now!
Last night we watched the new show “Hoarders” on A&E. Disturbing. I don’t think I can watch another one. I kept wondering how one person can accumulate so much worthless junk, never clean it up or let go of it, never admit there is a deep-seated problem. It’s such a fascinating illness, and so sad. This one woman had a 2000 sq foot home and had filled it almost top to bottom with “bargains” and crap. She placed an oversized level of emotional value on “things.” Another guy had a teensy little studio apartment which he had filled mostly with actual garbage — pizza boxes and soda cups, etc. The floor was not visible. They had to use a big shovel to clean it out.
The worst was the food hoarder though, who looked to also be a fledgling cat hoarder, too. A whole house full of spoiled food and cat shit. Glad I watched that one on a tiny box on my computer screen and not in HDTV in the living room.
It makes me wonder if this illness is unique to Americans, or to countries where people live in relative comfort and with access to so many material goods. Probably not. Even in this country, both the rich and the impoverished can become hoarders. It’s an external manifestation of an internal psychological problem — the chaos inside demonstrated outwardly with a completely chaotic living space. And it’s also one of the hardest disorders to treat and cure.
Watching that show makes me want to clean house. I love having a tidy home. I’m not OCD about it (I guess the other end of the spectrum from hoarding), I don’t vacuum the ceilings or anything, but I do like to have things put away where they go and wake up to an empty kitchen sink. Not easy when you have the schedule I do and are also pregnant. My hormones are clamoring for me to nest. Pretty soon I probably will be vacuuming the ceilings, and washing the baseboards, and dusting everything.
Speaking of nesting, the baby’s dresser arrives today, as well as the new switch plates I ordered for some of the light switches. Still need to re-do the closet in her room, and finish the guest room, install new lighting fixture in there, decorate the shade for the lamp in the nursery, etc etc. Busy busy bzz bzz.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged housewife, pregnant | 1 Comment »
When I was a little girl, I was lucky to live in a house that contained many different kinds of books for me to look at. Novels, encyclopedias, weird medical dictionaries, art books, fairy tales, classics, and so on. I essentially felt like I could pick up any book in the house, regardless of the age it was directed toward, and find something interesting inside.
I want to build the same kind of environment for our daughter. I have quite a few big reference dictionaries; a Martha Stewart trilogy of crafting, homekeeping, and cooking, each filled with huge photos and illustrations; many many novels of all levels; lots of Edward Gorey and Calvin & Hobbes; all the old “Life is Hell” collections by Groening; and various other coffee table books. I even have a few children’s books! I think the point is that as soon as she can read, which she will probably be able to do by the time she is three, she’s free to open any book she wants, even just to look at the pictures.
Wow she is kicking me so vigorously this evening. Growth spurt, surely.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged baby | Comments Off on 33 weeks